Hindrances

by Caleb

Maybe you can help me here. I'm sort of torn between ideals at the moment because I can see where both have a relevance. For most of my life I have been a creationist, but I have studied evolution with an open mind, and some of its ideas I find have standing in scientific research. But, I have some problems with evolution that perhaps you can help me reconcile. I have no doubts that you are a Christian . In fact one of my heroes is Allister McGrath, who is also a theistic evolutionist. But, here's some things that I have gleaned from evolution that I cannot deny about our planet and history and that I accept as truth.
I can accept that our earth can be 4.5 billion years old. The six days can be interpreted as millions of years. God being eternal has no restriction of time and nor do I think He lives in time because He indeed is eternal. 4.5 billions years would be like the blink of an eye to God.
I even believe that the Bible gives compelling evidences for Neanderthals and Cromagnon man. When Cain murders Abel, he tells God that he fears the other people will kill him . The question is basically screaming "What other people where there if Adam and Eve were the first humans?" But, I find it a compelling argument that Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, were homo-sapien or Cromagnons who had moral obligations and a healthy fear of their Creator, because God personally breathed "the breath of life" into their nostrils. The other people, I think, are the Neanderthals or the "souless men" that the Rabbinical scholars speak of. In other words, they look and act similar to Adam and Eve, but they have no spirit breathed into them. So, for that reason, they are more primitive and more animalistic with a "survival of the fittest" type morality. They didn't have a high moral standard like the Cromagnon. They didn't care for their weak, like our ancestors did. For Neaderthal, only the strong survive. If Adam and Eve were the first evolved, animalistic type humans that God gave a self awareness and spirit, I could accept that evolution is true and that Genesis is an important metaphor.
I also believe, without doubt, that the animals and plants of today are nothing like the ones of the past due to allopatric and sympatric speiciation that produces a variety within a species. I have no problem with evolution within a species, the problem I have is with evolution of the animals like from reptile to bird.
When I studied evolution, I concluded that in order for it to be true, that an almighty God would have to have guided it by an "invisible hand" in order to produce the complex lifeforms that we have today. And absolutely, I agree that God created processes like the water cycle, the rock cycle, seasons and other natural processes in order to for nature to operate properly and that evolution could well-indeed be another that He set in order. I found that evolution was no better at disproving God than any other argument.
But, here's what is hindering me from accepting Darwinian evolution.
1:I cannot accept that an all-powerful, benevolent God could be a careless observer. What I mean is, that it would seem strange that a benevolent God would create the universe, set evolution in place, watch it happen with animals killing each other all along the way until all of sudden He decides it's time to to intervene so that man may evolve. Or that God would be so cruel as to send a meteorite to wipe out the dinosaurs so that mammals could evolve successfully, or to breathe self-awareness and awareness to a Creator into only a certain group of people and allow them to exterminate the Neanderthals.
2: I have seen some fossils that have been deemed "transitional forms" and although they are compelling in some aspects, wouldn't there have to be WAY more transitional forms found rather than fully developed animals in order for evolution to be undoubtedly true?
3. If evolution is a natural process created by a benevolent God, why is it so cruel? Why would God make life such an arms race between the predator and the prey? Why not just make things peaceful and harmonious ? If God loves His creations so much, why would He create a system that has "survival of the fittest" as it basis for life?
4. If we are to accept the Genesis creation as a metaphor, what important lesson is it trying to reflect?

Thank you for your time. God bless!